Two shepherds may disagree about the most profitable way to raise sheep. Rich pastures, or scruffier grass to build muscle. Gentle treatment or tough love. But in the end, they have an important area of agreement - that the purpose of sheep is to provide wool and mutton. Carville and Matalin look at voters the same way. Their disagreements on issues are trivial in comparison.

Plus, there's sex....

While she gazed at pictures of Limbaugh with his oxycontin stash.  

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

(Ee-ewww!!)

Mind you, although it is true that George Stephanopoulos had some fetching camera angles back in the first Clinton administration -- and perhaps inspired the casting of Rob Lowe in "West Wing" -- , I never thought that having sex with James Carville was something I might want.  Nevertheless, there are surely many people who find his ragin' Cajun mouth and his beady-eyed rattler puss hard to resist.

Mary Matalin, for her part, has style.  She never came across, like so many of those creepy GOP women, as if she were zapped by a frozen Clark Bar.

I sort of imagine her, back at the convent school, commanding an unpopular classmate to do a Tonya Harding on her Nancy-Kerriganish rival for the honor of being chosen to crown the statue of the Virgin Mary during the May Procession, promising the dragooned thug her friendship as a reward.  But then, of course, it is the thug who is caught and expelled, while Miss Matalin denies all associations with the crime, and goes on to be the star of the procession.  A photograph of her voluptuous genuflexion before the Tabernacle, her grandmother's pearl-and-gold rosary beads draped over her gloved praying hands, while  a fresh-faced, barely pubescent acolyte, with an angelic blush, stands at her elbow holding the wreath of lilies on a silk pillow, is chosen as the cover illustration of the yearbook.  Beneath it is printed the inscription, "Ecce, fides nostra!"

So far as sex between Matalin and Carville is to be imagined, who knows, it may be the political differences that turn them on, actually.

E.g.: One evening, James comes home, and barely has time for a second bourbon before he is assaulted in the parlor by two burly manservants dressed as priests, one of them wearing a Richard Nixon mask, the other a Ronald Reagan mask.  They gag him and blindfold him, then drag him down to the dungeon, push him backward against the wall, and manacle him to two iron rings, six feet off the floor, eight feet apart.

A figure emerges from the shadows: a nun, taking a black cigarette out of a gold cigarette case.  She lights it at one of the ensconced torches, pulls off James's blindfold, then says to the priests, "Strip him!"  They tear off his jacket, tie and shirt.  She says, "Wait! Leave the belt buckle for me!"  She puffs smoke into James's face, undoes the belt buckle and the fly, then recoils as if in pain, crying, "Oh, you damn Democrat pig!, I broke a nail!  Feel the consequences of what you m'f'ing liberals have done to this country!"  And she scrapes the edge of a fingernail down his naked torso.  When she reaches the pubis, she turns to the priests and screams, "Are you still here?!  Remove his trousers and get out!"  Said, done.  She turns back to James, blows more smoke in his face, and says, "You contemptible liberal scum!  Global warming is an unscientific hoax!  ANWR will be sucked dry of all its oil, and all the animals will die!  The invasion of Iraq was the greatest foreign policy move in US history!," and more such abusive assertions.  He struggles and wiggles, helplessly.  She laughs, and says, "You still do not understand, do you, you pathetic America-hater."  And so saying, she crushes the lit end of her cigarette into a spot just to the side of his left nipple.  He howls; she simpers, "Now where did Father Bartholomew leave that flagellum that he brought back from Toledo?" ...

Well, OK, maybe the Carville/Matalin household does not have a dungeon -- though some of the finest homes do, I am told.  Maybe James and Mary have the rings with the manacles right out in plain view.  Hence, one might imagine Laura Bush, being invited over for afternoon tea, noticing the rings, without understanding, and commenting, "It's so nice of you, to be an upholder of the quaint traditions of your medieval faith!  We have penitentes near Crawford, you know!  I shall have to tell George about this!"  At which, Lynn Cheney kicks her under the table.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

Maybe Mary will read this and get some ideas Canis! Have you been secretly writing GOP "bodice rippers" on the side?

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

No way I can understand Carville and his wife. I guess the answer is that they are both political whores and professional courtesy keeps them together. Either that or absolutely volcanic, pound on the wall "Yes! Yes! Yes!" sex.

Then again, I agree with Dave. Ewwwwww!

Randy Cunningham

Randy Cunningham

enough with the empty headed vacuous middlebrow horseshit rhetoric of the clinton era.  obviously it was infinitely better than what we have now, but the carvilles, the penns, the o-hanlons--fuck them all and the horse they rode in on.

david, i know these are your people but you are just better than them.  move on--realign.  i'm no obama proselytizer but anything is better than mccain or another clinton.

You have a unique mind.

 Was always turned off by Matalin before now am fantacying about her.

I just hope they are not using real leather, plastic is not environmentally friendly either. Hemp rope & whips for S&M, well its a cause I guess. Don't know which celebrities we can get to take up for the cause for us.

Not these two, thanks for putting that image in my head, I was just about out of therapy..

The eons of time and nature was good to us down here. It was not until we become civilized that destroying our habitat become fathomable or fashionable.

Yep Pompey, this could really stimulate the counseling industry.

GOP kink.  The wave of the future.

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

I fear however that the Matalin Marquis De Sade Movement may pull as many liberals as kinky NeoCons. Will leave you nothing but the bible belt and ensure a Huckabee victory.


The eons of time and nature was good to us down here. It was not until we become civilized that destroying our habitat become fathomable or fashionable.

Aren't any of you old enough to remember when "Global Cooling" was the terrible future we faced?  It really wasn't that long ago. Give it time, it may make a comeback.

It's pretty interesting to me that Toyota (along with Diane Keaton...who knew?) is taking steps to be green. Also, they're sponsoring this season of PBS' Nature series--there's a schedule on the site.

Just wanted to share :)