Staff Contributors
Guest Contributors

Global warming in seven words

Here's your chance to be the Pollan of climate change

Posted by David Roberts at 7:08 AM on 28 Jan 2008

Read more about: climate | energy

Kristina/Jason's plea for a tagline here reminds me: check out this post over on the NRDC Switchboard blog. It notes the success of Michael Pollan's already legendary aphorism -- "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." -- and wonders whether something similarly compact could be used to explain what people need to know about climate change.

A couple of Times bloggers noted that this little pearl has a "haiku-like resonance" – seven plain words, and something about its two-word / three-word / two-word structure. Dwight Garner amused himself trying his hand at it. And then the Well blog's Tara Parker-Pope thought, Surely this warrants a competition. She posted an entry challenging her readers to vie for top honors – and received more than 1,000 submissions! (My favorite: "Call Mom. Let her talk. Don't argue.")

For years I've been looking for a short, memorable way to convey what people need to know about global warming. Then I saw this and thought, Well, why shouldn't we have some fun with this too?

I hereby declare the Switchboard "Seven Words to Save the Planet" challenge open to all comers.

Let's collectively come up with one and send it their way. Here's my (horrible) inaugural effort:

"Electrify transport. Green the grid. Reconnect communities."

Pollan I ain't.

What have y'all got?

the less said about Mother, the better

Or, more hopefully:

Love life.  Don't be silly.  Be kind.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

Use energy, not too much, mostly sun



walk more. eat local. hug a tree.

work less. buy less stuff. live more.
drive less. ride a bike. every day.

Hmm, I'll have to keep thinking.  Of course, there's always the classic, that pretty much sums it all up:

"Waste not, want not."

How about:

"Make economic activity and greenhouse emissions unconnected."

a sibilant intake of breath
The Obvious Option

Use energy. Not too much. Mostly renewables.

David Sassoon, www.solveclimate.com
7 Words

Use less. Use it wisely. Think. Act.

Care more. Act with Compassion. Live peacefully

Care more. Act with Compassion. Live peacefully

OR

Learn more. Act with kindness. Stop Killing

OR

Stop Killing. All Worldly Resources. Love More

I only have this one life, so I am going to try my very best to make a positive change. --- The Happy & Healthy Vegan ---

The Economic Argument

Clean Energy. Sell the Technology. Make Money.

David Sassoon, www.solveclimate.com
GW Reality

Global Warming; getting real. Hard times ahead.

"Make Money"???!

Gevalt!

Brilliant, David Sassoon.  But one might have thought a Sephardic Jew would have delved morally deeper.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

A haiku

How about, along the theory that if you can't do thermodynamic calculations of heat-engine operation, or logically discusse the relative effects or lifetimes of the daughter nucleii of fission chains, you've little to contribute:

First educate yourself.  Then educate yourself.  Then educate yourself.

Morally Deeper

What's morally deeper is implied and hidden.

Clean energy. Sell the technology. Make money.
(Give it away. Don't tell.)

David Sassoon, www.solveclimate.com

Green life? Radiocative coal black chemical doom?

In this fashion..bumpersticker style...

                GREEN LIFE?
    RADIOACTIVE COAL BLACK CHEMICAL DOOM?

That'll get the advertising message across.  Then add a Hillary?Barack '08 sticker.

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

Ha!, muchisimo mejor!

"Clean energy: give it away; don't tell!"

Perfect!

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

not enough room!

public transit. wind solar geothermal. walkable communities.

walkable communities. wind solar geothermal. local production.

To tweak Robert's one:

"Electrify transport. Green the grid. Energy efficiency."

Efficiency is always one of our best ways to deal with this problem, but also one of the most ignored.

-David Ahlport

Save Earth. Save yourself. Don't screw up.



If I share initials with 'Global Warming', is that a sign?
Avoid impending ecological catastrophes...........

.........and economic disasters

Limit growth of human consumption, production, propagation.

Steven Earl Salmony
AWAREness Campaign on The Human Population, establised 2001
http://sustainabilitysoutheast.org/  

Did you guys go to school?


Every fourth grader knows a haiku is 5 syllables, then 7 then 5.   Leave it up to AGWers to get even that wrong!

Madman in green suit
CO2 replenishs land
Lecture not the earth

UO2 beats CO2. Burn U, not us.


Good to see you here, Len.

How shall the car gain nuclear cachet?

stopped paying attention in 3rd grade

OK, 5/7/5:

rail and bicycles. wind solar geothermal. local production

but that is 3/3/2 in words, could also do

electric transport. wind solar geothermal. local production.

which is 5/7/5 and 2/3/2 word-wise, now everybody is happy?

another try...

walkable cities. wind solar geothermal. organic farming.

transit, bicycles. wind solar geothermal. save ecosystems.

CanisCandida - Ladino Misses the Mark

more correct would be "Achsan b'kteer."

David Sassoon, www.solveclimate.com
That jabailo...

Resident Troll. Misses the Point. As Usual.

Ah!, pobrecita perricita!

Vass iz diss, "Achsan B'kteer"?  Nee fun unsern Rebbees!  Tzoo turkish!, noo?

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.
Oh no. This is addictive. Can't stop.

Many fools. Ignoring the Evidence. We're doomed.

Or, if you want something more hopeful:

Act now. Reduce your footprint. Live sustainably.

Canis Sassoon

I was up in the wee hours last week at MIT discussing business models of clean energy.  The issue? To sell or to give away new clean energy technologies.  We settled on selling in US markets and giving in international markets.  Investors and philanthropists are both happy.  Everybody wins.

Sell local, give global, be happy

Arabic Dialect

from Aleppo's Jewish quarter -- not too long ago under the Ottoman Empire, but Turkish is far different.

David Sassoon, www.solveclimate.com
Energiya b'shemesh v'ruach. B'kulam achshav.

I couldn't resist.

David Sassoon, yours are the best.

Breed Less

Breed less.  A lot less.  Not at all.

personal responsibility

Stop exploiting. Always act responsibly. Continue educating

personal responsibility - it'll never work! lol!


I only have this one life, so I am going to try my very best to make a positive change. --- The Happy & Healthy Vegan ---

7 words

Get off your big behind and walk?

not so positive but kinda catchy?

Did jabailo go to school?!

His "haiku" is quite deep.

We have mad corporate entities wearing green facades... coroporate greenwashing.

Yes, CO2 replenishes the land, but too much is bad. Water is good for us, but submerge jabailo for a few minutes and he will become rather uncomfortable.

Finally... do not lecture the Earth... CORRECT! ... LEARN from the Earth!

Leave it to a global climate change denier to undermine his own position by trying to be a Mr. Smarty Pants.

Otherwise... good job, Mr. Bailo.

eem lo achshav, eimatai?

Right, GreenMom: Achshav, achshav, achshav b'Yisrael!

"Shemesh" is sure-as-tootin' "sun."  "Ruach" as "wind," though, seems to evacuate the rich religious connotations of that word.  Oh well, let us indulge the Israelis in whatever they want to do, with their electric cars, for example.

I knew somebody, David, a long time ago, here at Columbia, with roots in Halab/Aleppo, but I forget his last name (NOT Sassoon).  He was a topic of conversation in the Barnard College cafeteria, for being led around as if helplessly by a semi-Israeli lass.

Last semester, I realized a student of mine was one of the very Syrian Jews who had been written up in the New York Times Magazine, in November or so, though not himself in the Brooklyn clan -- great guy, with a lovely sense of the victimization of Hector in the Iliad.

Well hey, those Asians gotta stick together!

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

a little justice

Developed countries, don't hog the fossil fuel!


Just for yucks...

...maybe there should be a progression from the first part to the other, so

no fuels. wind solar geothermal. electric economy

for transportation...

no cars.  trains, bikes, buses. mostly walking

jess me 'nmy dog

aint gotta go
no
aint gotta go
no
aint gotta go
no
jess me 'nmy dog
yeah
jess me 'nmy dog

#$%#$%#$%#$%#$%##%+_#$% : )

For the formalists: "Aint gotta go" is supposed to be three words.  "Jess me 'nmy dog" is supposed to be four words.  So do the math.

John Bailo,
we are all playing hookey.

Or, rather, even if we were in our respective schools of the belles lettres, the assignment was not to write a classic Japanese haiku, now was it.

That said, there have been some well-intentioned but plodding prosaic offerings.  Oh well, they all get A for effort.  But no contracts.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

Possibilities

"Tax carbon. Don't spend alot."

"Use less juice. Burn less stuff. Use the sun."

"Eat puppies. Roasted with garlic demiglaze" (OK, made that one up)

2-3-3

One Earth.
Live green now.
Or we die.  

2-2-3

Live smarter. Healthier too. No Birkenstocks required.

grist.org
Not climate-change specific, but...

Sustainable design in a nutshell:
Waste equals food.  Use current solar income.

Attempt #1

It's
The
Foundation
Of
Our
Economy
Stupid

Attempt #2

It's
The
Foundation
Of
Human
Civilization
Stupid

Attempt #3

It
Provides
Your
Food
And
Water
Stupid

"stupid"

Ummm, Whiskey kid, let us see what we can do when we replace that annoying last word.

Or were you trying to make a point?

By the way, the Modern Language Association will be all over you for apparently equating "our economy" with "human civilization."  So you had better get your press releases ready.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

Attempt #4

It's
The
Foundation
Of
Human
Civilization
Nitwit


"nitwit" -- brilliant! You got it!



Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.
My Two Fen

   Love family, friends and a simple life.

patrick in Beijing

   Lots of great slogans!!!  Why limit ourselves to one!!  Use them all!!

The problem,

is that these are starting to drift away from the initial challenge -- communicating about global warming -- and toward extremely general environmental slogans.

It is communicating about climate change in particular that is so difficult.

grist.org

Attempt #5

Warm
Earth's
Atmosphere

Watch
Us
Melt

Oops

e. e. cummings


Hookey...maybe.

Actually, you all sound a bit like e.e. cummings.

in just spring
when the queer old balloon man
gets his house washed away
and has to wear hip boots
by record flooding

Or something like that...

Attempt #6

Welcome
To
The
Neo-Jurassic

Look
No
People!

and it rhymes

don't emit. you must commit. just do it.

all we ever needed is...

the sun. endless fusion power. harness it.

Mass extinction, end of history, prognosis grim.



A couple more...

the economy. wholly owned subsidiary. of environment

the greenest product is none at all

wake up.feel the sunshine.use the sunshine.



From Holland

There's Gore
Roll up sleeves
Raise dykes

A few more, 2-3-2

How about:

"Eat plants. Don't drive much. Tax soot."

or

"Consume consume. Consume consume consume. Consume consume."

My haiku (chopped off at the knees)

Relax more. Live for tomorrow. Worry less.

one more

Chill out. Step up. Save the Planet.

WiscIdea,

Attempts #5 and 6 are superb.

John Bailo,
you are getting it!!  That "queer old balloon man" bit is really fine!

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

So much chin music.................

so little action.

A sign of the times..............

So few make so much

wealth by doing so little

that can be judged good.

Babel of voices.......

.........sharing naught.

My English attempt

Clean Energy.  Green Jobs.  One Planet.

English attempt #2

No new coal.  Stop the madness.

Priorities

Friedman's right -
change leaders first
later lights

Just one more word

Greenmom.

Clean Energy.  Green Jobs.  One Living Planet.

That's the bumpersticker.  That's a winner.


http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

Winner declared!

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2008/1/29/ ...

I've declared your slogan the winner greenmom, on my blog, for what that's worth, hehey.  With the one word addition.

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

We nourish on Earth. It's not flat.



Mother Earth neither is flat nor infinite



Hey thanks, Amazing!



Congrats to Green Mom..........

Keep going....

Steve

Yeah yeah yeah

Localize production/ leave carbon in ground.

http://www.dailykos.com/User/Cassiodorus
Ride bus. Learn to cook. Make compost.

Eat greens. Ride a bike. Waste not.

Walk mostly. Count your kilowatts. No cowmeat.



I put it up

Greenmom, on the NRDC blog.  Do we get a cut of the bumpersticker loot?  

Nope, it'll all go to lobby against Cape Wind and for "clean" coal, nukes, and fuel farming.  After all, it IS NRDC.


http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

climate haiku

climate changing fast
its from burning fossil fuels
time has come to act


a liberal in redsville
climate not-quite-haiku

Climate changing fast
from burning fossil fuels;
humanity won't last
unless we make some rules.


a liberal in redsville
Euphoria check

Fossil-fueled ethanol, toxic hybrid batteries, better technologies needed.

Euphoria check II

solar farm destroys natural desert
Windmills kill birds
Hydropower destroys rivers

Euphoria check III

Non-toxic alternatives
3Rs & Mass Transit
Think Holistically.

Simple

 Renewable smart grid plugin hybrid rooftop solar.

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin
Non-toxic

Non-toxic (lead/acid, but it's contained and recycled) "Oasis" truck battery.  Inexpensive, 1/5th that of equivalent lithium ion battery capacity.

Plugin hybrid battery solution.

http://www.pjstar.com/stories/011208/BUS_BFFJKJV1.027.php ...

First battery off the line, Jan12th, 2008.  When can we buy them?  This summer maybe they say.

How about a nice slogan for this battery?  anyone?

Fireflyed hybrid plugged into renewable green grid.

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

climate chaos from fossil fuels change course



a liberal in redsville
Just one more entry

I think the following is the strongest:

You're either with us or against us

"More orgasms. Fewer kids."

I can't claim it as my own: I just saw it as a bumper sticker and thought it spoke elegantly and eloquently to the two big issues: quality of life and overpopulation.

And as a bonus, it's guaranteed to piss some people off!

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.

Winner

Official winner on NRDC.  Not the greatest.  Not that surprising considering their clean coal and fuel farming support.

http://www.nrdc.org/globalWarming/solutions/step4.asp

http://www.nrdc.org/globalWarming/solutions/step3.asp

Not exactly what one would expect from a frontline eco org.  No wonder Barack supports them too.  These are the lobbyists for green revolution.  Can't we do better than this?

http://amazngdrx.blogharbor.com/blog John Schneider, Northern Wisconsin

Bill Clinton's unexpected expression......

...of intellectual honestly regarding the extent to which the leviathan scale and rapid growth of the global economy can be seen ravaging the Earth.

FINALLY, SOMEONE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS.

Steven Earl Salmony
AWAREness Campaign on The Human Population, established 2001
http://sustainabilitysoutheast.org/

well said.

I like Anna Haynes' submission a lot!

Links: || http://www.onearth.org/blog || http://www.linkedin.com/in/iwilker || http://nyu.facebook.com/profile.php?id=834915 || http://twitter.com/iwilker
winner picked over at NRDC's Switchboard

Dan Lashof crowned this one the winner of his little contest:

Climate Challenge. Our Greatest Opportunity. Seize It.

He also singles out some other entries he liked; read 'em after the jump.

Links: || http://www.onearth.org/blog || http://www.linkedin.com/in/iwilker || http://nyu.facebook.com/profile.php?id=834915 || http://twitter.com/iwilker

NRDC Winner


Honorable mention:

Honorable mention:
Rusty Pritchard -- Jan 25 2008 08:46 AM
Worship God. Love people. Care for creation.

Rusty admits that its 2-2-3, not 2-3-2, but its good.

Grand prize:
Jesse Jenkins -- Jan 24 2008 01:02 AM
Climate Challenge. Our Greatest Opportunity. Seize It.

Pretty vanilla slogan, if you ask me.  And the honorable mention?  What does religion and respect/love for fellow man have to do with climate change? (Yes, of course, everything is interconnected when we are talking about the Earth, but really, a bit of a stretch to "communicate what people need to know about global warming," no?)

You are not logged in. Thus, you cannot post a comment. If you have an account, log in. If you don't have an account, well, by all means go make one! Meet you back here in five.
sign in
Search Gristmill
Subscribe
  • subscribe via RSSStay updated with the Gristmill RSS feed.
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Subscribe with Bloglines
  • Subscribe in NewsGator Online
  • Subscribe in Netvibes
  • Subscribe in Google
Using Gristmill
  • What is Gristmill?
  • Posting rules
The comments of Gristmill users reflect the opinions of those individuals only, and do not necessarily reflect the viewpoints of Grist, its staff, its board members, their psychotherapists, or their aestheticians. Got it?

Gristmill is powered by Scoop.

ADVERTISING POLICY


About Grist | Support Grist | Job Board | Archives | Grist by Email | RSS | Podcast
Gristmill Blog | In the News | Ask Umbra | Muckraker | Victual Reality | 'Tis the Season | The Grist List | The Bottom Line



Grist: Environmental News and Commentary
a beacon in the smog (tm) ©2008. Grist Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. Gloom and doom with a sense of humor®.
Webmaster | Sitemap | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Trademarks