Meals on wheels

The Chrysler Town & Country freaks me out

Posted by Tom Philpott at 3:02 PM on 11 Jan 2008

Read more about: cars | consumerism

I was leafing through the Feb. Bon Appetit -- the magazine's first "green" issue; more on that in a future "Edible Media" post -- when I came upon an ad for something called the Chrysler Town & Country.

It shows a white suburban family standing in front of their SUV and McPalace, glowing and looking happy. Dad's holding a football; 2.5 or so grinning brats are tossing around a basketball. You know: sports utility vehicle.

All of that is de rigueur -- the bread and butter of glossy magazines. I can handle it.

But then this prose confronted me:

Entertainment to go

Swivel 'n Go seating allows the kids to play games, get a jump on homework, or have a meal in comfort.

family fun!

Oh, dear. But it wasn't over.

A satellite TV system SIRIUS backseat TV, streams video Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, and Cartoon Network to two [not one!!!!!!] independent DVD screens.

more family fun!

Something called the MyGIG Multimedia Entertainment System also figures into this rolling barrel of laughs.

This might mean something to something to some Grist readers: the models pictured are actually a "real" family -- "prime-time celebs Bradley Whitford and Jane Kaczmarek [whose grin, for what it's worth, is bone-chilling] and their three kids."

so much family fun!

I find myself stymied by this spectacle. What can it mean?

For story: Meals on wheels
15 Comments | Post a Comment

Stay where you are.

Our Family Fun^© Agents will be contacting you shortly to schedule your reprogramming.

grist.org

by David Roberts at 3:09 PM on 11 Jan 2008

Yikes.

I too saw this ad spread in a glossy magazine recently and was freaked out -- but mostly because it pains me what Josh Lyman has turned into.

by Lisa Hymas at 3:36 PM on 11 Jan 2008

memories

of the VW camper. Course that '68 vw probably beat it on mpg.

by odograph at 4:25 PM on 11 Jan 2008

OMG

It's worse than we thought. FAR WORSE.

grist.org

by David Roberts at 4:29 PM on 11 Jan 2008

it was green

they didn't go anywhere.

(definitely off-putting)

by odograph at 4:37 PM on 11 Jan 2008

Because getting along is overrated anyway

When I first heard about this, I thought, "Two DVD screens? Who is in the car long enough/often enough to require two different DVD screens?"

And my friend replied, "Well, what if the kids in the backseat want to watch two different movies or something?"

The electronic babysitter strikes again, enforcing poor interpersonal relationships and energy-sucking technologies all in one shiny, chrome-finished ~~FUV~~ SUV.

by Ashley Braun at 5:26 PM on 11 Jan 2008

You ain' seen nuthin yet

Now here's a minivan:

Image: http://www.oblingo.com/media/10-26-07/town_country_blackj ...

"For those who can't get enough of the card tables when they leave Vegas, Chrysler has created the Town and Country Black Jack...The Amber-Black pearl paint provides a stylish contrast to the custom 20-inch wheels and the billet grille, jazzing up this most staid of minivan exteriors. Interior LED lighting illuminates the mini casino in the passenger compartment that consists of a bench seat wrapping around the black jack table that sits opposite the dealer's captain's chair in the middle. Entertainment comes via a 1250-watt audio system created by Azentec and Kicker. For tailgate parties, you and your weary gambling buddies can watch Terry and Howie yuck it up during the pregame show on a 37-inch flatscreen mounted in back behind the tailgate."

Source

Mike Johnston

by enki at 5:37 PM on 11 Jan 2008

Say

Isn't this one of those signs that the world will end soon??

From the book of Chyln "And low and behold, the nations will destroy themselves and the people will rejoice even as they consume the earth..."

Just askin'

patrick in Beijing

by bookerly at 7:44 PM on 11 Jan 2008

Swivel 'n' Go

Aside from the inappropriateness of a vehicle of this size, the featured table and chairs next to a big window look pleasant enough, for a long trip with plenty of sight-seeing. At least, the cafe' cars and observation cars in Amtrak trains are pleasant, in my experience.

Of course, on Amtrak trains, the seats are more roomy and comfortable. And the passengers are not weighed down by the possession of a gross gas-guzzling truck.

Most disingenuous is the come-on suggestion, that the Swivel 'n' Go "allows the kids to ... get a jump on homework." Ha! They mean, while you are driving your ne'er-do-well kids to school in the morning, they are sitting by that table scribbling out the homework they ought to have done the night before.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

by caniscandida at 8:39 PM on 11 Jan 2008

oh please

Go out and have kids and see what you carry them around in. Oh wait, you all want to get sterilized.

by bkrell at 4:40 AM on 12 Jan 2008

It is practically illegal

to be out of sight or sound of a TV any longer. Do any of you remember such a thing as a "quiet bar" where you could have real discussions, maybe initiate a seduction, read a book?

I remember the great northeast blackout a few years back that hit Cleveland. I saw people curled up in fetal positions, sucking their thumbs while desperately thumbing their dead cell phones. People afterwards were swearing to get battery powered TVs because they were so bored in the dark. Meanwhile I was enjoying the fact that I could see the milky way in the city for the first time in 20 years.

If the terrorists were smart they would find a way to destroy our system of mass distraction. Forget the rest. Take that out and our society would fall apart within days.

Randy Cunningham

Randy Cunningham

by randino at 8:05 AM on 12 Jan 2008

Gilded cage on wheels.

T bills are about to lose their AAA rating. The golden age is about over. The DVD boredom of the idle rich in debt will be replaced with the exciting challenge of food, shelter, and survival. Fun under the sun.

by sunflower at 8:46 AM on 12 Jan 2008

Just be glad it's so expensive...

...no "typical" American family in their right minds (or wallets) would be able to afford one, 'specially with gas prices like they are. I can see a few higher-incomes considering it maybe, and possibly a few wannabe-campers who know absolutely nothing 'bout roughin' it and want an SUV/mini-camper combo...but for the vast majority of people, it's outta their price range.

by Tasermons Partner at 3:06 PM on 12 Jan 2008

the eighth sign

Um... yeah. I think I forgot about that verse in Revelation.

I have friends who manage to cram two car seats (and two kids, and sometimes a small adult squished in between) and a portable DVD player in their Prius. They drive to KY in it (from WI). It works just fine. There hasn't been any fratricide yet.

by mihan at 10:37 AM on 13 Jan 2008

What can it mean?

Have house prices gotten so high in the US that people are just giving up and turning their cars into McMansions instead?

by stringy at 5:50 PM on 13 Jan 2008

ADVERTISING POLICY

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