Valentine's day alert!

It's coming, and it can't be stopped

Posted by Sarah K. Burkhalter at 3:45 PM on 09 Feb 2007

Read more about: green living | sex | food | consumerism | holiday

Ah, Valentine's Day -- are we still pretending anybody likes this holiday? Single people feel insecure and excluded; people in relationships feel guilt-ridden and obligated to consume items blingy or fluffy. I say, if you love someone, tell 'em today, and on Feb. 14, obstinately refuse to wear red.

Yet, knowing that obsessive marketing and the power of tradition are likely once again to outweigh my exhortations that we all just fuhgedaboutit, I would be remiss in not reminding you of ways to celebrate V-Day in a sustainable fashion.

'Twould be silly of me to repeat Grist advice maven Umbra Fisk's Valentine advice from last year, because she pretty much covered it all. Or did she? As Justin Timberlake subtly reminded us with his recent album FutureSex/LoveSounds, sex and love are separated by a mere backslash. So you sustainable-minded Valentines will also want to check out one of Grist's most popular stories evah, Naughty By Nature. No more tainted love for you.

However, it must be said that many women prefer chocolate to sex. And since we know you chaps only want to give the ladies what they want (ha!) Umbra has chocolate advice as well.

After you're sufficiently sated, might I suggest a snuggly couple outing to see The ~~Vagina~~ Hoohaa Monologues?

Finally, if you're planning to pop the question, check out Portovert, "the first and only magazine for eco-savvy brides and grooms." It's brand new (brand spankin' new, if you're into that sort of thing). Portovert has chosen the illustrious V-day to partner with NativeEnergy to launch the first and only wedding carbon calculator.

If you don't like my ideas, feel free to seek advice elsewhere. But be forewarned -- in a Google search of "Nothing says I love you like," the following are the top options:

Nothing says I love you like lovely lingerie
Nothing says I love you like radiation
Nothing says I love you like a mammogram
Nothing says I love you like a box of Pooh
Nothing says I love you like an ass in the box
Nothing says I love you like a tattooed fish
Nothing says I love you like "baaaaahhhh"
Nothing says I love you like 6-foot roses
Nothing says I love you like tiny burgers
Nothing says I love you like murder/suicide

I'm just sayin'.

For story: Valentine's day alert!
7 Comments | Post a Comment

"tattooed fish"?

In fact, I just read somewhere (sorry, I cannot remember, but presumably the story is not obscure) that a man in the Netherlands has turned himself in for being a child enslaver, because he eats chocolate. He is hoping apparently that by being arrested, charged, tried and found guilty, he will be setting a precedent which will make the purchase of cacao products from Cote d'Ivoire a criminal offense. Whether or not the plan works, the point is of course to draw attention to the plight of children who are forced to work in that industry.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

by caniscandida at 3:48 PM on 11 Feb 2007

Pet Peeve

This is a forward slash, the sort found in URLs and almost always misrepresented: /

This is a backslash: \

by mihan at 6:39 AM on 12 Feb 2007

pets and peeves

Thanks, Mihan, I am glad I hung fire, and waited for you to do the dirty work.

Much much more seriously, Sarah ought to do a questionnaire, in which the central question is, "What do you prefer to sex?"

Back around 1980, when none of you was born, I remember being given a small book titled something like "The Word-Processing Book." That was back in the age when monitor screens all looked green. The author of this book said that he had spoken to someone who was using a brand-new, fresh-off-the-assembly-line amber-screen monitor, and that that no doubt very experienced and well-rounded authority announced, boastingly, "It is better than sex!" To which the author commented, "That of course is not possible. There is nothing better than sex. Except chocolate chip cookies."

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

by caniscandida at 1:31 PM on 12 Feb 2007

Sigh

I was eight... ah, the 80s. Fortunately, I was such a dork (and my tyrannical Asian mother so controlling) that I didn't succumb to the bad hair and bad fashion.

Food and Sex: I think a comparison really depends on the sex, and on the chocolate-chip cookie. Maybe we've come full circle: instead of the monitor being better than sex, computers replace sex in the lives of far too many people.

by mihan at 7:10 AM on 13 Feb 2007

I vote for

sex and chocolate chip cookies.

by kmp at 7:24 AM on 13 Feb 2007

Sex and ...

cheescake. If offered both I have to think about it.

imjackhandy

by imjackhandy at 8:47 AM on 13 Feb 2007

Valentines gifts

We did a Valentines list too, check it out on our Green Futures website. It even includes some ethical sex toys (sustainable spanking anyone?) for those of you with sex on the brain.

http://www.greenfutures.org.uk/briefings/Valentine_page28 ...

The top recommendation was to give time not things...

by Peter Madden at 9:11 AM on 13 Feb 2007

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