Caption contest!

Leave your caption ideas in comments

Posted by David Roberts at 12:45 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Welcome to Gristmill's very first Official Caption Contest! Leave your perfect caption for the picture below in comments. The winner will receive ... international encomiums as the winner of the very first Official Gristmill Caption Contest!

For story: Caption contest!
18 Comments | Post a Comment

I told you...

I HATE plaid!

by kmp at 12:50 PM on 08 Nov 2006

But...

... how come we didn't get a pony?!!

by jjwfmme at 1:00 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Rick Santorum's family

finds out what 'santorum' really means.

by plantface at 1:01 PM on 08 Nov 2006

But I don't wanna be sold and hafta be a Page!!!

The 5% Project

by JMG at 1:14 PM on 08 Nov 2006

It's not fair!

That nice man told me I could watch him play with his dog, but then you came and grabbed me away!

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

by caniscandida at 2:05 PM on 08 Nov 2006

On the other hand...

look at the son in the background. He looks like he just saw Mark Foley walk in.

by kmp at 2:28 PM on 08 Nov 2006

The Hill is alive with the sound of ...

moving?

--- G. R. L. Cowan, former hydrogen fan
Burn boron in pure oxygen for vehicle power

by GRLCowan at 2:30 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Does this mean daddy's gonna be home from now on?

by les claypool at 2:43 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Sorry boys,

She's an innocent. Not what we should be making fun of. I know, I can be a real party pooper sometimes.

In the end, it all comes down to biodiversity. Poison Darts--Protecting the biodiversity of our world

by biodiversivist at 5:16 PM on 08 Nov 2006

We Feel Your Pain

In the aftermath of Santorum's defeat, his family expressed what the perennially positive Senator would not. Counterclockwise from center: anguish, shock, remorse, and uncertainty.

by Maywa Montenegro at 7:22 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Caption

Terror strikes the Santorum children after God fails to deliver another Senatorial election for incumbent Rick Santorum. God was defeated 59-41 by Mother Nature in Tuesday's midterm elections.

by Brudaimonia at 9:53 PM on 08 Nov 2006

apology

You are basically right, Biodiv, and my initial reaction was one of displeasure, that somehow David was using a photo of Santorum's very young and innocent daughter as potentially a weapon to be used against her father. But I think it is fair to say that all of us who participated in the "contest" understood very well that she herself is not the target; we are certainly not "making fun" of her; she is quite innocent, whatever we may think of her father; and she is genuinely sad, and deserving of sympathy, apparently after hearing that her father suffered a bad defeat. (Or I think, not unreasonably, that that is what her sadness is about. Her tears did not have anything to do with, say, the prospect of leaving Washington and her friends there, because -- I think this is true -- Santorum had never moved his family to DC, but maintained for them their residence in his district in western PA.)

In either the last or the penultimate issue of Newsweek, the very well-written story on Sacha Baron Cohen, the British comedian who plays "Borat," quotes some excellent remarks by two of my favorite comedians, Joan Rivers and Bill Maher. Joan Rivers spoke brilliantly of the unique, necessary role of the comedian, to say things that no one else dares to say. Bill Maher said that one of his favorite kinds of comic episodes is when the audience laughs, in spite of themselves; they do not really want to laugh, they are embarrassed, the humorous remark cuts very close to the bone; but they cannot help it. But I am not sure that is going on in captioning the photo of the Santorum family.

On the other hand, Sacha Baron Cohen, whose hoax all across "the U.S. and A." got all sorts of people in trouble, even fired from their jobs, and whose movie shows lots of ordinary Americans in a very unflattering way, says that his humor does not include mocking the weak and defenseless. Hmmm, that is a matter of controversy. Cf. his favorite traditional Kazakh festival, the Running of the Jews. But the principle is a noble one, all the same.

And, in the case of the "caption contest" and Rick Santorum's daughter, I do not think that anyone really means to mock the weak and defenseless.

Sacha Baron Cohen apparently nowadays lives somewhere in LA-world. It would strike me as a not undesirable turn of events if he were to become an American citizen, and run for governor of CA, as a Republican. And meanwhile, continue his work making comedies. That is the next barrier to be broken: actors who enter politics, not dropping their movie careers, but continuing to make movies.

Chickens deserve our true friendship! So do fish! So do other sentient beings! Let us learn to be kind.

by caniscandida at 10:34 PM on 08 Nov 2006

Empathy

Here was my first thought (after "tee hee!", of course): Poor girl! Can you imagine all crap she's going to get in college? Especially if she comes out?

Remember how we all felt sorry for Chelsea? She ran as far from DC as possible. To the (numerous) Santorum offspring: godspeed.

by mihan at 6:03 AM on 09 Nov 2006

Poor Rick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(1)    Unbeknownst to the Santorum family, their youngest child gave birth onstage to another young Republican !!!!!!!
(2)    We're not in Pennsylvania anymore are we Daddy?
(3)    Another hard day in the Hitler Youth Program!!!
(4)    Karen Santorum chooses an inopportune time to practice her ventriloquist act.
(5)    In yet another twist of irony, it is discovered that the majority of green house gas emissions have been coming from Rick Santorum's daughter.

by Bill Miller in TN at 3:28 PM on 09 Nov 2006

Caption

Rick Santorum, R-Fantasyland, announces that, having lost his bid for re-election to the U.S. Senate, he can no longer support all of his children and accordingly will be auctioning off his youngest child, daughter Karen, to the highest bidder in early December. Santorum adds that Karen is a robust, sturdy child who has been taught to be obedient and will make some lucky person a fine servant or mistress. Karen, seemingly overwhelmed by the announcement, offers up a silent prayer of thanks.

by erwaxman at 2:23 PM on 17 Nov 2006

Why the Families?

I've never understood it. The title and the glory? They all belong to the Legislator or the Judge or the President. The winning? The pol speaks while the family stands back like a good family should. But in a loss? Why can't that no-good loser stand up alone, with possibly a spouse (unless it's Mark Foley of course), and leave the sons and daughters out of it?

I'll never forget the Nixon daughters as he resigned. Did they ask to share in that? I doubt it! Just as I sincerely doubt that any of Rick's kids asked him to please, daddy, let me stand up there with you while I'm so sad.

They're all so selfish!

In Peace, Harmony and Unity may we find ways to work together to meet our common goal - the health of our earthly Home.

by MarchDancer at 11:18 PM on 18 Nov 2006

Caption

(From my above comment, why not?)

Please Senator Daddy, I don't wanna go. No!

In Peace, Harmony and Unity may we find ways to work together to meet our common goal - the health of our earthly Home.

by MarchDancer at 11:24 PM on 18 Nov 2006

too obscure?

In a desperate concession speech maneuver, Rick Santorum publicly confesses to going "man on dog" with his children's beloved cocker spaniel, Mr. Snuggles.

by MattyJ at 10:56 PM on 21 Nov 2006

ADVERTISING POLICY

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