I can say with ultimate certainty that being an eco-parent does not mean you get adopt the "code of Ghandi" attitude and wimp out on parenting. Passive placating of pubescence would almost be worse than allowing Bushie another four years to run amok with our internal policies.

I noticed a thread on this discussion site about not wanting to be the hard-headed parent who rules with an iron fist. Well, guess what? There are a lot more of us around than you might think. The idea that "Jenny's mom lets her listen to her iPod at the table" is a crock, more than likely. I suggest calling Jenny's mom. The two of you probably are long overdue for a tête-à-tête.

Being firm seems a little harder for the eco-parent ... there are so many namby-pamby phrases in the vernacular: love the earth, love yourself; coddle that which is precious to you; commune with nature; create a safe and nurturing environment for your child to grow. It reeks of spoiled composting and past-the-due-date yogurt.

It may come as a surprise to many of you -- it did to me -- your kids are lying to you. About Jenny's mom, about finishing their homework, even about what they ate for lunch today. They turn 13 and find True Lies. I stopped reading the how-to parenting books when Penelope Leach's book ended its five-year reign. Then it took me three years to figure out the demon occupying my daughter's bedroom had really sprung from my loins, and I needed to exorcise her. I recently got my daughter back; she is 21 and lives on her own. But don't make the mistake of thinking that an eco-household means that children's souls are pure. No amount of organic grains and tofu can stifle the basic teenage urge to lie, cheat, and steal their way to a funner Saturday night.

Be the castle, firmly ensconced, surrounded by the moat of possibility. Only let that drawbridge down when you know the answers to all five W's: who, what, when, where, and why. Then check them out -- and make sure they know you are doing it. Leave the wilted lettuce at the door, people.

The parenting series ends today. Which might mean the Pete Seeger song will stop going through my head ("Be kind to your parents, though they don't deserve it. Remember that parenthood is a difficult stage of life ..."). Or not.

We heard from a lot of you during the past two weeks, and we know a lot more are reading the stories and sharing them with friends and family. Thanks for that. With hope, this collection will remain a useful resource for years to come -- or at least until the next study on plastics comes out.

As the series progressed, two themes really jumped out at me: First, many parents credit their own parents for leading by example, even if -- especially if -- they weren't doing it to be green ("My dad took the bus, train, and/or subway to work when I was a kid on Long Island. My mom sometimes rode her bike to work."). So the choices you're making today really will stick with your kids. And second, making healthy, eco-wise choices is an ongoing education for all involved ("We keep the heat low, teach them to wear sweaters when it's cold in the house. The kids get it. The partner doesn't.").

"Don't be afraid of not knowing the answers," wrote one mother of two. Solid advice. Now if you'll excuse me -- I have to go decide whether to have kids.

The following is a guest op-ed from Jessica Assaf, a 17-year-old student at the Branson School in Marin County, Calif. Assaf was one of the six 2006 Brower Youth Award winners for her work with Teens for Safe Cosmetics, and has been involved in the effort to pass California's AB 1108, which would ban phthalates in children's toys. Gov. Schwarzenegger has until Oct. 12 to decide whether to sign the bill.

Although I am only 17 years old, I have a strong notion of what I think is a reasonable request to ask of the government to protect the health of myself and my community. In hearing about AB 1108, the California Toxic Toys Bill, and its "pre-destined" veto by the Governor of California, I must ask a question. Is it too much to ask to protect infants and children from disgusting toxins found in plastic toys?

Phthalates, plastic softeners, are infecting the lives of innocent children by means of pacifiers and rubber ducks. These chemicals are known endocrine disruptors, and are also linked to reduced testosterone levels, lowered sperm counts, early puberty in girls, genital defects in baby boys, testicular cancer, and breast cancer.

The potential health effects are no surprise to legislatures. I don't think it is a coincidence that some of these phthalates are also listed on California's Proposition 65 as reproductive toxins. A Harvard study links phthalates to low sperm count, low sperm motility, and an increased percent of abnormally shaped sperm. The Swan Study proves phthalates cause the demasculinization of the male reproductive tract. Still not convinced that phthalates should be banned? The European Union has banned all of the phthalates listed on AB 1108, and several other countries, including Japan, Mexico, and Argentina, have banned the use of phthalates in children's toys. I do not think I am alone in stating that I cannot come up with one logical reason to keep these chemicals in the United States.

Unfortunately, phthalates are also present in medical devices, cars, vinyl products, and cosmetics. During the summer of 2006, I joined forces with the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics in Los Angeles to protest the use of dibutyl phthalate in nail polish made by OPI, the most popular nail polish company in the country. In the end, OPI willingly decided to eliminate the phthalate from their United States products, as it was already banned in Europe. I believe that if a billion-dollar cosmetic company can freely remove this toxic chemical from their products, then we should take action in demanding the immediate ban of phthalates in children's toys.

There is no reason why, at the very beginning of life, infants are being exposed to these life-threatening chemicals when there are cost-efficient alternatives. These safe alternatives would drive up the prices of a plastic compound from about 80 cents to about 95 cents per pound. Fifteen cents extra per pound of plastic could guarantee a healthier life for millions of infants and young children, who are too naïve to question the pacifier in their mouth, or the rubber duck in their bathtub. Should these children ultimately be punished with a life of reproductive problems, infertility, and
cancer? No, they should have the right to take baths and use pacifiers and not have to endure a possible cost to their health.

Governor Schwarzenegger, please pass AB 1108 for the health and well-being of the children of this and future generations.

Got this letter today about greening teens. Anyone have ideas?

Dear Editor,

What about teens? How do you foster a connection to nature when you're working with teenagers? How do you inspire curiosity, respect and connection to the natural world when their hormones are raging and they just want to be alone?

Little kids may be harder to care for on a day by day basis, but head-strong teens need to be inspired and empowered. How do we guide our adults-in-training to love mama earth, spend time outdoors and make future-generation oriented choices without scaring them into submission?

Well, it's Week Two here at Brood Awakenings, and we're shifting our focus from babies to big kids. I'll start by elevating this question from last week that got a bit lost in the comments section:

I'd love to hear tips about how to keep kids unwired. Don't get me wrong, I love me some techonology (hence the blogging), but kids spend so much time playing gameboy, on the computer, listening to iPods, etc. I think a lot of it isn't because it's more fun, it's because everyone else is doing it. "But mom, Jenny's mom lets her listen to her iPod during dinner."

I can control, at least to some extent, what my daughter does within our house. But what do I do when she goes to Jenny's, whose mom lets them spend hours playing video games!

I'd rather not be known as the dragon lady of the neighborhood -- so conservative I won't even let my daughter watch PG-rated movies at the age of 6 (which I won't!). But I can't help wanting to see kids riding bikes, playing tag, and climbing trees instead of creating a faux neighborhood on Sims.

What's a mom to do?!

Have you heard the one about the "healthy lunch" campaign that used lunchboxes found to contain lead?

No joke.

While I was scouting for parents to talk to for the plastics piece, I asked my brother-in-law for his take. He's a mellow kind of guy, so I wasn't too surprised to find that he lands on the not-freaking-out end of the spectrum: "Perhaps not elevating plastics and chemicals for me personally is a feeling of over-saturation from media reports on safety issues of all products in general. In other words, what product these days doesn't come with potential dangers, whether it is spinach tainted with e coli, children's toys with lead paint, or you name the issue du jour."

What about you? Take the poll!

One of the ideas we're trying to weave throughout this series is this: you don't have to be perfect. I had a long conversation last night with a marine biologist in Hawaii for the plastics story, and he felt strongly that parents are too hard on themselves -- and on each other -- when it comes to being green.

"Even the smallest of things that a parent can do has the potential to have an impact later in their children's lives," he said. "Everything they can do will have a long-term effect. Ninety percent is awareness and putting the effort in, and the rest will come."

Struck me as quite soothing. Parents, if you're out there reading this, do you feel pressure to be eco-perfect? Where does that pressure come from, and how do you handle it?

I'm not a parent either. I don't know how you guys do it! I wonder how green-minded parents, who are just as busy as everyone else and just as subject to the lure of fast-food/convenience food, go about feeding the brood. Are small hands useful in the kitchen? Do you have set days where you cook for the week? Does it drive you nuts when they declare they hate everything except pizza -- or is that just a non-breeder kid stereotype? Are family meals still a thing? I guess I'm still a bit haunted by the domestic scenes in Jonathon Franzen's The Corrections, wherein hapless Dad fussed over his martinis and his "mixed grill," while Mom and the kids joyfully fixated on their separate fast food and home-entertainment choices.

Let me start by getting this off my chest: I'm a fraud. I'm writing the first post on this parenting page, and I'm not a parent. But I'm the co-editor of Brood Awakenings, our series on parenting and health, so I get to go first! (Don't worry, the other editor is an actual parent, with the anxiety to prove it.)

What I am is an aunt to 10 (nine nephews and one niece). And a sister to 7. And a daughter of 2. And a (clock-ticking) citizen of this beautiful but impaired modern world, with all its convenience and confusion.

For the next two weeks, we're taking a look at the intersection of planethood and parenthood -- at how today's environmental issues and choices affect not only our planet, but our bodies, and the little bodies we care for. And we want to hear from you. Parents, parents-in-waiting, thinking-about-maybe-someday-becoming-parents -- let us know about your successes, your worries, your tips, and your triumphs. Ask questions of each other, and of Grist. Rant. Celebrate. Consider this your venting room, the place where you can scream and cry and laugh about ... well, life.